blank

the dominant feeling
is not one of sadness
or anger or disappointment
(let alone happiness
or excitement)

but more of an absence
of feeling

like,
what is even the point?

do i have the energy to get angry
if my problem will not get solved
and i just have to go back to smiling
and being polite the moment after

do i have the enegy to get aroused
when i m going to be annoyed at him
the very next morning

do i have the energy to meet people
when i will certainly not be
opening my heart and feeling light

how can i enjoy stories of advenure
and quests
when my quest has come to an end

how can i dream of new adventures
when a thousand things will impede me
on any new step i plan to take

can i really
fight the same fight against
overprotection
all over again
all my life

what even is the point
of any emotion?
any energy

just go about your duties

if they can fake it,
so can you

or if you expect
any semblence of
life interest, excitement
something to engage
your heart and soul

you can just bang the wall
with your head

actually, no point

just die